If the idea of engaging in self-promotion makes you want to throw up, you’re not alone. A savvy mindset adjustment can turn things around.

I was driving home from an appointment the other day, listening to a local talk radio station as I often do, when I reached my limit.

The host of the radio program (let’s call him Host A) was talking about a contest that is currently underway to choose the community’s favorite local newspaper columnist.

It’s one of those online polls where you can vote for someone once per day for as many days as you’d like until the contest is over—very similar in both process and meaning to electing the homecoming queen.

Except far less sophisticated.

Anyway, Host A began by claiming he was “a little uncomfortable” with what he was about to say, but that he felt he just had to say it anyway—because the guy who is on after him on the station (Host B) has been doing the same thing the last few days. 

Both of the hosts, it turns out, are among the five finalists for the best local columnist award.

And since Host B has been using his show to shill for votes, now Host A figured he could and should too.

And then he went ahead and did just that.

So much for discomfort. His, at least. 

I, on the other hand, was ready to barf.

The Frustration of Self-Promotion

I’ve been thinking about why this host’s actions bothered me so much, particularly in the context of introverts and introversion.

Several reasons jump immediately to mind:

1. I hate to acknowledge this, but … I’m a bit jealous of what this guy had the nerve to do. Yet I’m also filled with despair that I’m jealous about it.
2. Work speaking for itself—a concept I and so many other introverts crave—just doesn’t seem to be enough in today’s saturated world. Why can’t one’s actions do the talking—and be heard?
3. I swear my Lutheran religious upbringing has something to do with my self-promotion phobia as an introvert. It was “blessed are the meek,” was it not? And “meek” implies humility, restraint. Right?
4. When I was a kid, my mom gave me a poster featuring a mother duck with her young ducklings, all of whom had shadowed not their mother like they were supposed to but, instead, the first duckling—who had led them away from Mom. The poster’s caption read: “Following the crowd leads nowhere.” If that’s true, then why do so many people shout about themselves so often and in so many ways—and apparently with such success?

Argh!

Mindset Shift: ’Tis Better to Give …

How can you tell the world what you do and what you have to offer without feeling like you need to shower the slime off of yourself afterwards?

There’s got to be a different mindset, some sort of middle ground that turns self-promotion into something that sounds and feels better, and actually accomplishes something, and does so in a way that fits the typical introvert’s style.

What is it? What is the key shift in thinking and/or doing that we introverts need to make to not only accept the idea of self-promotion in the first place—on the job, in business, and elsewhere—but succeed at it, on our own terms?

It boils down to one word and the key mindset shift it induces …

Offer.

“I’d like to advance the concept of self-promotion in the spirit of sharing,” writes Nancy Ancowitz, in her painstakingly detailed, highly motivating book Self-Promotion for Introverts. 

Her advice?

“Envision yourself as a problem solver for a specific segment of the population, rather than as a glad-handing lounge lizard.”

Similarly, you can take on the mentality of an educator, says Beth Buelow, author of the inspiring book The Introvert Entrepreneur:

“[B]eing a teacher takes the focus off of me and puts it on my message and on the listener. … For me, the question is, ‘What do I have to offer here?’ rather than ‘What will I get out of this?’”

Beautiful.

And effective.

But there’s a catch.

There is for me, anyway.

And given the pervasiveness of the self-promotion gag reflex among introverts in general, it’s likely you’ll have to face it too.

You Need to Exercise Your Mindset—Daily

The offering/educating mindset is not self-sustaining.

It has no auto-pilot feature.

And so we have to keep feeding it.

We have to constantly remind ourselves—daily—that we are offering something, serving, helping to the best of our ability.

It’s a never-ending mental workout, fellow introvert.

But it’s the only way to build your self-promotion muscle.

And maintain it for the long haul.