My Three Core Beliefs
Here are my three core beliefs—what I know about introverts and introversion, based on my more than two decades of research on the topic as well as my 57 years (and counting!) of being an introvert myself in this extroverted world of ours.
Use these beliefs as a barometer.
If they resonate with you—if I resonate with you—then you can be confident that we’re a fit for working together.
There’s Nothing Wrong with You.
You’re Just an Introvert.
Many introverts—not all, but far, far too many … as in millions around the world—go through life getting nonstop shit for their introversion, in ways big and small, subtle and not at all subtle.
Many introverts have thus come to believe—they’ve been made to believe:
“Something must be wrong with me.”
(or similar such bullshit)
These introverts—you may well be one of them—think they are inherently flawed, partially or completely.
They figure they need to be different—to change themselves, fix themselves—simply and solely because they are introverted.
Let me be crystal clear …
This Isn’t Right.
It’s Wrong.
And I say “wrong” in two respects:
- It’s untrue, factually speaking, but much more importantly …
- It is patently unfair, unjust, and uncalled for.
Especially when the truth is that there is so much right with you, fellow introvert!
I realize that you’ve likely been hearing the opposite your whole life—from people near and dear to you, from total strangers, and from anyone and everyone in between.
But the truth is still the truth.
So if I’m the very first person to ever say this to you outright, so be it:
There’s nothing wrong with you.
You’re just an introvert.
Introversion Isn’t Inferior to Extroversion.
It’s Just Different from It.
In Western society in particular, introverts are constantly running into a headwind in life.
Susan Cain, groundbreaking author of the bestselling book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, calls this sometimes gale-force headwind the Extrovert Ideal:
“the omnipresent belief that the ideal self is gregarious, alpha, and comfortable in the spotlight.”
Laurie Helgoe, author of the book Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength, calls this headwind the Extroversion Assumption—the widespread societal belief that:
“extroversion is normal and introversion is a deviation.”
I, too, have a name for this headwind. I call it the Extroversion Default—the cultural idea that:
“the default personality in Western culture is, or ought to be, extroversion—and that we assess other personality variations against extroversion because it is implicitly and explicitly seen as the gold standard.”
When you’re an introvert living in extrovert-centric Western society, then, you get a clear and consistent message throughout your life, though it’s rarely said aloud:
Your introversion is inferior
to the extrovert’s extroversion.
And therefore you are inferior
to the extroverts around you.
THIS, TOO, ISN’T RIGHT.
It’s WRONG.
Introversion—yours, mine, and everyone else’s—isn’t inferior to extroversion.
It’s just different from it.
As in:
- No better than and no worse than.
- No more desirable than and no less desirable than.
- No more “normal” than and no less “normal” than.
Just. Different.
Period.
Introversion isn’t inferior to extroversion.
It’s just different from it.
To Be Healthy and Happy in Life,
You Need to Be the Introvert You Are.
None of us were put on this earth to fake our way through life.
None of us were put on this earth to spend years, decades being someone we’re not—or trying to.
None of us were put on this earth to put on a mask and act our lives away, day after day, year after year.
We are who we are.
And we are who we are for a reason—lots of reasons, even if we can’t quite identify and articulate them all.
We’re not meant to be who we are not in life.
We’re meant to be who we are.
And so if—or when—we try to defy this simple truth, we pay.
Dearly.
The results are not good, and they never can be or will be.
You cannot be healthy and happy when you’re forever going against your own introverted grain.
In fact, all you end up doing is grinding yourself into misery—physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
Genuine, sustainable health and happiness—well-being—takes root in you if and only if you don’t sell yourself down the river every damn day.
If and only if you’re true to yourself.
Your introverted self.
To be healthy and happy in life,
you need to be the introvert you are.
The Rest of the Story
If you’d like to get an even deeper sense of who I am, where I’m coming from when it comes to introverts and introversion, and why, please have a look around the rest of my website.
In particular, check out these resources—all of which are free and, therefore, allow you to easily dip your toes into the water.
- The Introvert Insights YouTube channel, where I post short videos twice each week (Wednesdays and Thursdays).
- The Introvert Insights blog, where I post once each week (Mondays).
- More than five years of archives of the monthly newsletter I used to publish, Introvert Insights.
- My website page on what I call the Introvert Shame Phenomenon—i.e., feeling like something’s wrong with you, simply and solely because you’re an introvert.
- My website page on The 4 Pillars of Introvert Well-Being, the life management model I’ve developed as a practical tool for running your everyday life as an introvert wisely.
- The Introvert Insights Media Interviews page.
I’m glad you’re here. Thanks for reading.
Peter Vogt, M.S.
Founder and Introvert Advocate
Introvert Insights, LLC
